MARCO RUBIO: “Tonight here in South Carolina the message is pretty clear, this country is now ready for a new generation of conservatives to guide us into the 21st Century… We will win the nomination!”
STEVE HARVEY:“I have to apologize. Horrible mistake, but the right thing…I can show it to you right here. The first runner-up is Marco Rubio.”
Again, Steve, really? Whoops.
Another caucus loss, another Rubio victory speech.
Those boots seem to be made for winning, even when they lose.
It may behoove Rubio to spend some quality time with Olympic silver medalist McKayla Maroney and a periodic table to understand silver and gold just ain’t the same thing.
Rubio is his own hype man.
Despite ending the South Carolina primary almost 11 percentage points behind winner Donald Trump and squeaking past Ted Cruz by only 1,000 votes, Rubio again gave a rousing victory speech that would have rallied an army of even the most self-absorbed of cats.
MARCO RUBIO: “If it is God’s will that we should win this election, then history will say that on this night in South Carolina, we took the first step forwards in the beginning of a new American century.”
Eek sorry Rubio, even God don’t do no second place. Technically second place is hell.
But Rubio baby, don’t sweat it.
(For real though, I’m running out of towels)
You gotta stay positive. Let’s not focus on semantics when we could focus on, *sigh, that smile.
If looks could kill, Rubio…..that may explain where the rest of your supporters went.
Teresa is a comedian/writer/director/producer based in New York City.
You can find her regularly performing stand-up all over the city including Gotham Comedy Club, New York Comedy Club, Broadway Comedy Club, or on Skype to her highly critical nieces and nephew.