It’s March and I haven’t seen you in a few weeks. Just wanted to check in and make sure you’re okay. I was so excited to be a part of your New Years Resolution this year. We had so much fun together that first day! It was just you and me and 300 other plucky fitness hopefuls. You spent 20 minutes finding the locker room and once you found it, you spent 20 minutes finding ‘Your Locker.’ That was going to be your locker for the whole year! I was so proud of you for having that dedication. There wasn’t much exercising that day but there was a whole lot of planning for the future. You said it to yourself but I heard too: “I’m going to go to the after-work Zumba class every day!” I couldn’t wait to see you there the next day! I even had a balloon that I got just for you…but you didn’t show. 🙁
It took a few days to see you again. I could barely contain my joy when you walked in, strutting your stuff, confident as anything. I loved that joke you pulled where you went over the the free weights, picked up a 25 pound dumbbell, set it down, and then left for the day. Haha! It had me in stitches… though I have to admit to not getting it fully. Maybe you can explain it to me when you come in again?
You know, I made a resolution this year, too. I told myself: “Gym, this is the year no one is going to quit you” and I’ve totally been nailing it! Well, I’ve had a couple hiccups, or six or seven…dozen. But you get the picture! I’m all about committing to you committing to me this year.
So to entice you to come back I’ve been making some changes, doing some housework, getting the ship in order for your big return! For starters, that Trainer Eric who keeps bugging you to sign up for Personal Training, he’s only going to do that three times a day instead of the usual five! That locker that you love so much, well I’m getting it engraved with your initials (on the far wall on the inside behind that stain but woohoo personalization!) I remember you said you thought that Group Fitness Instructor was good-looking so they’re teaching every single class from here on out! Can you say eye candy? Finally, I got automatic doors installed so if you stand in the right position and completely still long enough, I can give you the best hug a building can give someone.
So please, Gym-Goer, come back to me. We’re in this New Years Resolution thing together now. Dynamic Duo! And only nine months to go!
Brendan has been involved in the world of comedy since performing in his college Improv troupe ‘None of The Above.’ Since then, he has shared his comedic wit with this world by writing sketch comedy, dabbling in standup, and contributing to online comedy articles. He loves to make others laugh.
Haha so true